I finally went through the hope chest. To explain what a hope chest is... because according to Tony.. it's not common. It's a chest that is past down in the family to the women. When they are 16, they are given the hope chest. You fill the chest with things for a wedding and starting a family. Like expensive linens, dining wear, baby clothes and blankets, and things you would like to keep around for your own children. It may seem like an outdated tradition now. Not everyone starts a family in today's world. People would even think, due to my outbursts of fear of Adrianna and Alleah's whole pregnancy, that I will be one of those people who don't have children...
But tonight.. looking at the cute little knitted sweaters... I was struck with the thought. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad.. Obviously not now.. but I do eventually want a family. I mean.. I already like all the traditional stuff. I weirdly enough love doing Tony's laundry and having dinner ready for him when he gets home. I love all those housewife things.
Even though I was supposed to have the hope chest since I was 16 and only recently got it.. I look forward to filling it with things I hope for in my future. And to fill it with memories that I hope to share with my children.
The chest had a familiar scent.. oddly, it didn't smell like smoke. Which usually everything from my mom does.. but it had the scent that I used to smell from my Great Grandma's house.. It made me cry. I love my family and I wish I knew more about my Great Grandma and my Grandma.. Maybe I should ask my Aunt Lorraine more about them. When I had dinner with her at my mom's the other night, She told me some stories about them. I miss them. They have been gone so long. It's hard to remember them exactly. I remember I loved them a lot. I remember price is right, and little house on the prairie. I remember black licorice. I remember grandma's perfume. Sometimes if I think really hard about it.. I can remember her voice. But it's all fading.
People just seem to fade away..
I miss you...
