I transferred to a new store thinking I would be welcomed like I have been everywhere else I have worked. I was wrong. Very wrong. If I don't attempt to start small chit chat or anything of the like, there is complete silence on the floor. If I am off the floor, the girls won't stop gabbing away about their nights out downtown in their expensive dresses and gossiping about boys and mutual friends. I felt ultra shunned today. I walked out of the back room to overhear the girls talking about hours. As soon as I came out the conversation was done. To help anyone who may be reading this to understand what I am talking about.. I was told on my very first day in the store by another barista that people were probably not going to be nice to me. They don't want to like me. That in their eyes, I am stealing their hours.
After that I have heard from a couple other baristas that they need more hours.. I didn't intend to take hours from anyone. Nor do I believe I am, I am replacing a shift supervisor in their store. Not to mention, I understand the feeling of not having enough hours to pay rent and bills all too well. When I hear them gossiping about it from across the room, they make it sound like "So&So has rent to pay and she isnt getting enough hours" What do you want me to do? Give her my hours so I can't afford to live too? Why must you glare and stare at me when I try to talk?
Maybe this has been a good thing. Now I go to work to be at work, and I leave right away. No jokes, no chit chat, no lingering. Not even for a partner beverage. All I want is to get out of there. The only person who has made me feel completely welcome is the Manager.
**Sigh**
On another note: My current roommate might be leaving. It's beautiful isn't it? My luck with roommates. I believe I was the last to know that he was thinking of leaving. Granted, this time it has absolutely nothing to do with me. Refreshing. I don't know if I am happy or sad to hear this news. I mean, if he does leave. I will be moving in with Tony. I used to think there was a set time limit to how long you have been dating before you can move in together. But now I am stupidly in love and that logic is out the window. My mother thinks that if it's what we both want and we feel it's a natural next step then it should be okay.
But it frightens me. No, not because I am an only child or as my mother thinks I love my space. (I really need to talk to someone other than my mother about these things... lol) but this would be the first time I have ever lived with a boyfriend. What if I do things wrong? What if I don't give him enough space? What if my living habits drive him up the wall and vice versa?
I should stop worrying and keep faith. We already spend tons of time together and sure, we occasionally fight (mostly because I am being whiny) but for the most part. It seems good. It feels right. And I completely head over heels.
Okay... nap time now.
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