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I found a place, I will be moving to the North Shore. My uncle jokes that I am moving closer to the island. I shudder with that thought, is he right? Well I suppose North Van has the beauty that the island did but it's not the island and I hope not to meet people that I met on the island. Someone that I met there though, in of course my favourite place to be on a Wednesday night (still miss it) is going to move from the island. He agreed when I told him my theory...

When people ask me how I liked living on the island, I ask if they want the truth. If they say yes, I tell them the following: "Nanaimo is beautiful, but it is not a place to go if you have dreams or aspirations of become something. Nanaimo nearly killed mine. It's more of a place to go when you are done with life." I wonder if it's like that all over the island or only in Nanaimo? I try to have these fond memories of being in the program... but as soon as I try to remember the good times, all I can think about is what happened now. I remember exactly when the veil lifted and I saw them for who they were. They were not "family", they did not care. I sat by, heard the vicious gossip, heard of all the drama, heard the cruel jokes, saw their decline. Perhaps it is the "creative outlet".. I personally don't think you need that much pot to feel creative... and I still haven't seen the hype about it. I didn't mind so much when it seemed they were doing it once in awhile and at parties.. but they rapidly turned into constant stoners. 

Those are people my Mother never wanted me to be friends with I am sure. It's weird how her values have passed down to me. The friends I have kept around are strong. They care about me as I care about them. They aren't friends that I have to keep around 24/7 to call them a friend. No, we are able to pick our friendships back up where we last put them down. That's friends for life. That's realistic.

On that note... I haven't really talked or seen my boyface lately.. He is final mode aka non stop study. I don't if this is a bad thing but I don't feel that I miss him that much. I used to miss him that day. I suppose I am too stressed to care, work is eating me up again. Last night all I could think about was how I wanted to be held. I didn't necessairly think of boyface to hold me... I don't think he holds me enough. I just long to have strong arms around me, with a presence that makes me feel that they can make everything alright. *sigh* I suppose I am still hanging on to the dream of a real-life tuxedo mask...