Apparently, I am a terrible person.
At least, that's how I currently feel. I am trying my best but it isn't good enough. I can feel the strain. We touch less and less. I don't want the romance and lust to disappear. I feel like it is. And I feel like it's my fault. I am hoping it will improve. When my friends move closer, or if I successfully make friends with current co-workers (yes, I am trying that again despite the effort and stress from the last attempt) However, these co-workers are much different and give off much better vibes. I hope I am not wrong because sometimes I doubt that I have a good judgement of character. Perhaps I just like to believe there is good in everyone.
Am I an independent friend? I feel like I am because I am there no matter what and I don't make it necessary for my friends to see me everyday. I just wait around until they are ready to pick me back and up and play with me. Y'know, like a childhood dolly. But I find it difficult to maintain that sense in a relationship.
I know why I am scared of it. I am trying to work past it. But I feel with every passing day... it's waning. I don't want to be just another girl. I want to be The Girl.
Shut up brain... please. :(
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