Sometimes all I can ask myself is: what the hell is wrong with me? I honestly feel that I might be horribly unbalanced in the head. Which leads me to the question of why do I lash out with emotion? Why can't I just hold back?
Currently, I am scared. What's new about that, right? But how can I stop this feeling.. The thought of Him letting her back into his life... It makes me queasy.. However, this could be an Amber over-reaction which seems to happen often in my life. It seems the harder I fall for Him the more scared and vulnerable I feel. I am sure when I see him next he will tell me different than what my mind is hissing at me.
being in love has got to be the most frightening thing in the world... I feel as vulnerable as a little animal with no way to defend myself. I wonder, always wondering, what does He think? Does he feel as vulnerable as me? How does He feel?
I wish my mind would just shut up... So I can nap...
I do the exact same thing in relationships. The more I'm with someone, the more I fear losing him. It's a weird cycle. Plus, I tend to compare myself to past girlfriends... which is never a good idea. Everz.
ReplyDeleteYa just gotta say to yourself "Hey, I'm Amber and I am fucking awesome and gorgeous and boyface is with me for many amazing reasons that are all compiled to make one thing: ME!"
<3